SomeMusings.com

How much would you expect a simple packet of loose-leaf paper to cost?

Two dollars?  Maybe three?

You’ll imagine my surprise when my state university’s bookstore charged me 5.87.  How could they possibly justify such a price?

By putting the words “eco-friendly” on the front cover.

I asked the cashier if they had a different, cheaper “Fuck the Earth” brand, but, alas, it was not to be found.

I really don’t get why our generation venerates nature so much.  Have y’all noticed that nature is about to attack the gulf coast again?  That storm has already killed over 80 people, and there’s another one right behind it. According to some scientists, we should have fucked the earth harder.

I don’t feel any allegiance to nature.  I don’t have any problem with the climate changing.  If anything, I want to change the climate.  It should be more more human-friendly.

Seriously, environmentalists, why do you care so much? Do you care about protecting the environment for your own use, or is it a general, save the world kind of thing?

Or, maybe, is this some sort of elaborate, psychological metaphor? Is there something about yourself that you want to be preserved? Is there some sort of guilt that you have?  Some sort of sin that you have to atone for? What exactly are you afraid of, and what exactly would make you feel better?

Are you just bored?

Nature is humorously cruel.  Why do you feel a need to protect it?

And why do I have to pay over five dollars for a stack of paper?

One of my friends showed this to me. I like it.

I married a widow who had a grown-up daughter. My father, who visited us quite often, fell in love with my step-daughter and married her. Hence, my father became my son-in-law, and my step-daughter became my mother. Some months later, my wife gave birth to a son, who became the brother-in-law of my father as well as my uncle. The wife of my father, that is my step-daughter, also had a son.

Thereby, I got a brother and at the same time a grandson. My wife is my grandmother, since she is my mother’s mother. Hence, I am my wife’s husband and at the same time her step-grandson; in other words, I am my own grandfather.

Let’s do that again. With pictures. [Read more →]

I am going to teach you how to teach someone something so that they will remember.

1. Tell them what you’re going to tell them.
2. Tell them.
3. Tell them that you’ve told them.

That is how you teach someone something so that they will remember.

There are a few things that I currently understand. There are a lot of things that I will eventually understand. There are things that I will never understand, but I have confidence that I could understand if I spent time with a skilled teacher.

And then there are things that I cannot, will not, and will never be able to understand.

I am completely unable to wrap my head mind around the concept of circumcision.

I’m not bitter. I’m just perplexed.

Males, assuming you are a statistic in the national trend, when you were born, your parents wrapped you in a warm embrace, kissed you on the forehead, and welcomed you into the world.

And then they mutilated your penis.

Double-You Tea Eff

There’s no denying that we live in a relatively barbaric world. I can’t think of a more hilarious example. [Read more →]

I had a short text message exchange that I thought was particularly enlightening.  It’s about one of humanity’s most damaging emotional defenses.

CB: It doesn’t bug me that ppl are stupid, because I really don’t think that ppl are.  It bugs me that ppl PLAY stupid to avoid thinking about things that make them uncomfortable.  It’s fucking lame.  The truth is never complicated.  It’s the self-serving BS that ppl invent that mucks things up.

WL:You’re absolutely right.  It’s like they’re watching a magic show they know the tricks to, and still acting impressed.  Everyone lying to each other.

CB:Nice.  And if they didn’t know how it worked, there’d be nothing to be upset about.  It’s just the deceit.

WL: Righto

I won’t discuss what triggered it because that’s not really important.  As always, I want this to be a blog about ideas, not a blog about me.

Here’s an idea: let’s cut out the bullshit. 

What does this look like to you?

If you said “two nude lovers locked in a passionate embrace,” then, congratulations, your mind is as corrupt as mine.  If you said “eight dolphins leaping playfully out of the water,” then, please, stop reading my blog.

Supposedly, young children are unable to recognize erotic scenes.  Their minds make some sense of the image, and they have no reason to connect the dolphins.

No, I don’t know what scientist was sick enough to test that.

Anecdotally, I can tell you that I was sick enough to test it on Benjamin, my little(st) brother.   When I interrupted his lego-ing with the first sentence of this post, he slowly studied the image before responding with the last sentence of this post.

Ooops.

“That kind of looks like something. . . inappropriate.”

A friend and I were recently discussing the fallacy of many questions, a particularly nasty linguistic sleight of tongue.

For example, one cannot directly answer the question “Have you stopped beating your dog yet?” without sounding like Michael Vick, an incarcerated Michael Vick, or a dodgy politician with something to hide.

You can ask me how much Satan bought my soul for, but not until after you ask me if I sold my soul to Satan. And establish that Satan exists.

While discussing more subtle horrors that would fit into that snowclone, we made a discovery that I find rather puzzling. [Read more →]

I want to want to do everything that I do, and I want to do everything that I want.

It may seem like I cannot do everything that I want to do, but, by doing something, I prove that I wanted to do it.  If I didn’t want to do it, then why would I have done it?

In the entire universe, there is absolutely nothing that I have to do.  There is absolutely nothing that I must do.  There are only the things that I do.

If you want to believe that there are things that you must do, then go ahead and do it.  I want you to do what you want to do.  But I want to be unburdened from any must, should, or have to.  I want for everything that I do to be something that I want to do.

Sometimes to do something that I want, I must do something that I do not want.  But, if I really want to do something, then, really, I want to do what I must do to do it.

I want to procrastinate when I must do something, but why would I want to procrastinate if I want to do something?  I want to do everything that I want to do.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I want to go study for my class on Business Law.

I saw Wall-e last night.  It was downright inspirational.

I’m going to try to get into a romantic relationship by saying nothing but my name.

As you might know, in my last post I explained why I think that pro-regulation, anti-speculation environmentalists are either stupid or evil. I used Keith Olbermann as an example but mostly because his last name sounds like the breed of a noble dog that I never got to have as a child.

Now, environmentalists, let me be quite clear. I strongly suspect that most of you are not evil. 39 times out of 40, you’re probably just stupid. And, when I say “stupid,” know that I am comparing you to someone that has reasoned their way to a consistent political philosophy. To be fair, it’s not even that surprising. That much thinking requires a lot of time and energy, and there is very little to show for it outside of a personal satisfaction. It would be downright puzzling if the majority of Americans honestly and objectively invested their time and energy in such intellectual, philosophical pursuits.

Or, in less words, I don’t think of you as any more stupid than the average American.

Which doesn’t say much, but it does say exactly as much as I mean for it to say. It’s not that big of a deal though. If you didn’t have the power to vote, your stupidity wouldn’t even be worth pointing out.

But you do. So it is.

But, maybe I’m speaking too soon. [Read more →]