Absolute Teaching Fulfills Absolutely.

May 17th, 2008 · No Comments

I’m not a fan of meaningless sensations.

Me and my little brothers have been playing a lot of Halo since summer started. I try to work a life lesson into every game.

For instance, a couple nights ago I emptied a minigun into their unprepared ranks while yelling

POWER CORRUPTS!

ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS ABSOLUTELY!!!

As I watched their callow, flaccid meatsacks flop pathetically to the fallow, unfeeling soil, I reflected on how fulfilling it is to teach.

Unfortunately, I find myself running out of life lessons to share. Last night I spouted anarcho-capitalistic propaganda like it was self-evident dogma. I might have to do that again tonight.

Unless you can help me.

I want my little brothers’ lives to be effective, efficient, and euphoric. I want them to not make any of the same mistakes that I make. I want them to be true thugs.

What do they need to hear? Think back to your childhood. What do you wish you would have heard? What do you wish that you would not have heard? What has allowed you to be truly thugtastic?