SomeMusings.com

Wikipedia may have the readability of a Newspeak-Tapioca pudding, but you have to love the topics it covers. For instance, did you know that there is a mathematical formula governing the social acceptability of age disparities in romantic relationships?

I checked, and Encyclopedia Britannica ain’t got diddle on the subject.

I’m an economics major. This means three things.

1. I have a sick fetish for the counter-intuitive.
2. When I grow up I’m going to be able to tell my parents why I’m unemployed with detailed charts, graphs, and multiple competing, contradictory theories.
3. I am legally and morally bound to graph every formula that I see.

For you, my readers.

For help reading this, I’ve included an example, pictures of Natalie Portman, and more after the fold. Hit the jump!I’ve taken the liberty of filling it out for myself.

I added the vertical line “DDFM” at my age (20). As you can see, I intersect the green “Do It To It” area for y values from 17 to 26. Thus, according to the rule of thumb, I am socially allowed to be involved with anyone from age 17 to 26.

I’ve also added diagonal lines for some celebrities. As you can see, I could have started dating Hayden Panettiere two years ago and then grown old with her along line HP. As you can see from line NP, next year I will finally be old enough to date you, Natalie Portman. I’ll call you my Natty-P, and we’ll laugh at every commercial for Natural Light Beer. It will be most ronattic.

Elisha Cuthbert, Keifer Sutherland may have saved you from many a ticking time bomb, but in less than a year, I will be able to save you from your own ticking menstrual clock. I’ll brush the worries from your mind like the photoshoppers airbrush the details from your face.

Amanda Tapping, neither our paths nor our lines will cross in the foreseeable future, but look at line AT prime. In three years, I will be old enough for the you I see when I watch the first season of Stargate SG-1, which, really, is how I will always think of you.

I suspect that celebrities google themselves quite often. Hayden, Elisha, Amanda, Natty-P, if any of you manage to find your way here, feel free to send me an email. Don’t be embarrassed! I google myself nearly every night.

Feel free to poke around my blog. Maybe swing by that retarded pirate show I direct. I’d love to get to know you, and, Elisha Cuthbert, I would love to be your sperm donor.

Consider that an open invitation to all celebrities.

Cewebrities need not apply.

That means you, lonelygirl15.