Eccentric is as Eccentric Does; Pt. 1

September 10th, 2007 · No Comments

Daniel M

One of my main goals in life is to grow up to be an eccentric old man with deep laugh lines. The most beautiful part about getting old will be the fact that no one will expect me to still be young. I want to be able to mutter off confusing BS and have people debate whether I’m senile, insane, insanely senile, or insanely awesome.

When my nieces and nephews talk to me, they are going to be so confused that they won’t know how to do anything but laugh. At the end of the day, they’ll smile and say “it’s been a pleasure, as always” as they shake my hand goodbye.

I’ll tell them that “the pleasure was all yours” and wander off to do old man things.

At the twilight of my teenage years, I can only be so eccentric without coming off as a punk, but I do all that I can to be as eccentric as possible. I’m starting a new series on the blog entitled “Things I do” in which I’ll share with you some of my most eccentric habits.

For instance, when I do math problems, I like to pretend like I’m interrogating the equation. If I push it hard enough, then it will tell me what I need to know. If I push it too hard (read: multiply by zero) then it’ll die a mathematical death and be completely useless to me. Every tool that I learn is a weapon that I can employ against my opponent (read: unreduced formats).

In my first semester of college, I was enrolled in Calc II. I was one of the few freshmen in the class, so I felt a bit out of place. I’m sure that you’ve felt something similar before. I didn’t feel the need to connect with any of my classmates, but the total lack of rapport was more than a bit unsettling, so I retreated into my thoughts and my mathematical fantasies.

The first test was on integrating tricky trig expressions. After applying a wicked trig identity substitution, my subject started to crack under the pressure of my ferocious mathematical onslaught. I turned the corkscrews with some u-substitution and watched with glee as the problem surrendered its resolve.

That’s when I realized that I had been laughing sadistically.