SomeMusings.com

Daniel M

Facebook wants to know my favorite quote of all time, but it doesn’t give me the space to describe it.

I used to watch a lot of the old Adam West Batmans when I too young to know any better. My personal favorite was the 1966 movie. In it, the Fearsome Foursome attempt to definitively defeat the Dynamic Duo through uncharacteristic teamwork and stolen technology capable of instantly dehydrating any human into a pile of dust. Yikes!

The Joker, The Riddler, Penguin, and Catwoman set up their headquarters on the second floor of a dingy bar in a run-down port. In the movie’s most memorable scene, Batman charges into the United Underworld headquarters ready for a fight, but finds the villain’s lair completely empty save for a single, large, black, basketball-sized bomb complete with a burning wick. What diabolical treachery!

Our intrepid hero looks to the open window to see if he can dispose of the bomb there, but the idyllic crowd below forces him to stay his hand. Being a hero is not easy. With a dutiful grunt, Batman hefts the explosive above his head and runs to the crowded bar below.

“Quick! Flee for your lives! Into the street!” He bellows into the smoky restaurant.

All of the unmotivated extras startled denizens file out the only door as sounds of a riot play through the soundtrack. All of them, that is, save for two morbidly obese patrons who continue to suck on their fried crab legs, completely oblivious of the bedlam surrounding them. Not wanting to put any life in danger, Batman follows the crowd into the street, in the hope that he can find some way to dispose of the bomb before it reaches its vile conclusion.

Running down the road, he finds himself in the company of two nuns. He turns heel and heads in the other direction only to meet a young mother calmly pushing her baby carriage.

With the sparks of the fuse getting ever-closer to their predictable conclusion, he sets off in another direction, only to find himself face to face with a four-member marching band. After sidling past them, he runs to the water’s edge, ready to hurl the explosive into Gotham Bay, but is greeted by a pair of young lovers kissing in a passing rowing boat.

With time almost out, he sprints past some inconveniently placed gasoline tanks towards the other edge of the pier. He looks down, but is stopped dead by the sight of a waddling of chirping ducklings that he has not the heart to destroy.

In a fit of desperation, Adam West turns to the camera and, in the role that would define his acting career, says, above the chirps of the ducklings, the din of the still-present marching band, and the cheesy sixties soundtrack, ten of the truest words I have ever heard uttered.

“Some days, you just can’t get rid of a bomb.”

When things seem to be going downhill, when each failure makes the next more painful, when I seem to be like a useless King Midas capable of making anything I touch turn into solid lead, when I’m having one of those days, I simply remember Batman’s exasperated sigh.

And then I laugh away the sentiment.

Because that’s just ridiculous.

Now, go make today a good day. I’ll see you tomorrow at the same bat-time, same bat-blog.