SomeMusings.com

Sam M

BATON ROUGE, LA – The Target off I-10 East near Denham Springs ascended to new heights of power this weekend, becoming the prophesied First Supertarget after witnessing the bankrupting of his childhood friend, the Denham Springs Winn-Dixie, by a new Wal-Mart.

Several eyewitnesses reported that the event was literally earthshaking.

“The ground was all trembly, and pebbles started rising everywhere, even though we weren’t in a rocky region,” said Regina Warren, housewife.

“Bolts of lightning started zapping everything, and my hour-old cup of CC’s started boiling,” claimed mechanic Justin Willingforth.

Most surprising, the ordinarily mild-mannered though competent Target attained a halo of angry flame, and the word “Super” stenciled itself aggressively in bright neon above the Target’s practical red label.

“Its new business power level was astounding,” said market analyst Dale Buckham. “When I tried to view the surpassing economic force I sensed nearby, my facially-mounted business scanner shattered after going over nine thousand.”

The ire-swollen supercenter immediately began undercutting the cost of every service and good offered at the Wal-Mart that replaced Winn-Dixie and dealt such a crushing blow to the Target’s heart. With a huge variety of selections for practically priced clothing, groceries, electronics, household items, and tabloids, as well as a less forbidding appearance, the SuperTarget was in a position to outperform virtually any Wal-Mart imaginable.

In a battle of attrition that lasted until this Tuesday, during which it seemed that neither side would give up as each expended more and more of their hard-earned profits to secure their foe’s doom, the SuperTarget eventually drove Wal-Mart out of business, utterly destroying the Denham Springs economy in the process.

“It’s been a long time since the business world has seen a battle like this one,” said Buckham. “Rest assured, though, this isn’t the end of Wal-Mart. The business arms race never has an end, take my word for it. I wouldn’t be surprised if H. Lee Scott, Wal-Mart CEO, was even now concocting plans to create an army of android Wal-Marts to combat the rise of the Super-Target.”