SomeMusings.com

Daniel M

If you’ve ever turned an eye towards any social network site, you’ve probably noticed the internet’s obsession with presidential candidate Ron Paul. He is strictly against everything that doesn’t start with a C and rhyme with pollution, including inflation, taxation, UN representation, government regulation, and practically every single administration. He’s recently attracted the attention of the mainstream media by raising over four million dollars in less than 24 hours.

Some of his ideas, such as axing the CIA and returning to a gold standard, strike me as being even more questionable than they are unconventional. Don’t we need, at the very least, to know what’s going on in the world? And where would we get enough gold?

I have no idea if Dr. Paul’s ideas are either desirable or feasible, but his fans are so excited to see something different that they are treating his every thought like it’s another brick in the gold-standard road that we can follow to the constitutional promised land where we’ll frolic in the free-market fields and eat freedom coated gumdrops of pure freedom served with a side of freedom, a freedom shake, and freedom fries? Have I mentioned lately that freedom is popular?

It struck me while reading his presidential profile (see his favorite joke) that Ron Paul is the new Chuck Norris.

The rest of this post practically wrote itself.

Ron Paul’s tears cure cancer.

Too bad he doesn’t support a government appropriation bill to investigate what makes him cry.

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Ron Paul doesn’t want to get out of the UN.

The UN wants to get out of Ron Paul.

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Ron Paul once caused a woman to go into labor by pointing at her uterus and saying “No.”

She wasn’t even pregnant.

As far as the internets are concerned, Ron Paul is the new Chuck Norris. Help me prove it in the comments.